#im so god damn tired

[deathbypufferfish]

This week has been trying to kill me

[persephoneandherhades]

You know what? I would love to be a damsel in distress. I would love for literally anyone to try and save me from anything for once in my life. I have taken care of everyone else for my entire life and had to rescue everyone else and when can it be my fucking turn. If I am suddenly perceived as helpless will someone finally treat me as though I weren't bullet proof? I have proven time and time again that nothing will destroy me and I would like someone for once to not take that as a challenge to find a bigger fucking wrecking ball. I want to be treated gently. I want someone to not try and find my breaking point. Why is everyone always trying to find a bigger gun to shoot me with to see if this is finally the one that kills me.

So yeah it would be great to be a damsel in distress. I am in distress and I would love to be saved. I can eventually save myself but I want someone, ANYONE to try for once. Is it too much to ask that I be treated as the human creature I am instead of the indestructible monstrosity I have been forced to become? I was never given the option of being soft. I was tossed into the sea with nothing but my grit and determination to survive and told to sink or swim and then left there.

So yes I know that to everyone I look like the terrifying dragon guarding the tower but they don't know the maiden I'm guarding is myself. If someone could just look past my battle scars and armor they would see the exhausted woman who just wants someone to offer me help. A soft touch instead of an attack. A gentle word. Feathers instead of stones. I'm so tired of being my own knight in shining armor. I would accept the witch's apple at this point just for some relief but she never thinks to offer it to the wreck I have been forced to become. What do I have to do for someone to see me? I don't know how to shed my scales or take off my armor. I have never known a life without them. Will I be forever stuck in the same loop of adversaries when all I want is a partner, a helping hand, a small gesture of kindness.

I am the scarred, scaled, battered creature that everyone is told you must fight to reach the damsel but what I wouldn't give to be literally anyone else.

[diggingoutmygrave]

.

[pigswithwings]

above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.

[automaildoll]

Not to be that person but if your vision insurance give you a free pair of glasses and you plan on buying a different pair anyways...even if you don't like any of the frames the insurance offers. TAKE THE GOD DAMN FREE PAIR OF GLASSES!!!!!!

Like for fucks sakes I'd kill to get free glasses. My parents spent a fortune on me and my glasses and you would turn down free ones because they are not your aesthetic?!?!?!

[fizzyizzysworld]

evee see cc thats been in early access for like three months and think "man, this is not worth the money youre trying to charge me for it"

[rinnysmuses]

I want to disappear]

[kagedbird]

So: further bad news, gang

Laptop I bought shit a brick and would no longer boot (had several blue screens even during before and after attempting to factory reset it and multiple windows recovery errors) so no more writing for a bit.

Instead of buying a new laptop, I'm going to take my original borked desktop to Best Buy to see if Geeksquad can't fix her because god almighty if I trust another local shop and they forget her again, I will actually commit murder.

So if you would like to assist me in paying for repairs as I attempt to save every last penny I have for rent, food, and travel, you can do so here:

I don't know how much it will be but I fully anticipate having to get another new motherboard or a brand new psu since it won't boot up at all since the local shop incident— so any amount helps.

Thank you for your time and hhhhhhhhh I am so tired man

[el-pada]

why is it always my splatoon art being stolen bruhh, just had to deal with an ig account who was getting 5 times the attention off of my stuff

hell even before the game released a random game news site used my first ever deep cut drawing as if it was a game asset, atleast it just took 1 email to make them take it down

[nenyunavi]

Late night Sinclair doodles (please god it's 3 am as I am typing this)

[squeakadeeks]

i dont want to say this in a whiney way i mean this in a "trying to find comedy in a bummer situation" way but its kind of funny that from a social media perspective, objectively my sculpts/OOAKs, illustrative art, and plush work is strongly disliked. i have not been able to post any non-cosplay work without losing a good number of followers and they preform very poorly compared to cosplay stuff, like 900 vs 180K poorly. and again i dont want to be caught in social media games and the whole "performance as merit" thing (even though this does kind of bum me out ngl) but.....just from a comedy perspective the thought of someone being like "ug, you made a little guy? disgusting. I hate you. unfollowed." is....kind of bonkers ngl

[ninoochat]

Shameless - season 2 episode 11: Just like the pilgrims intended

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Christians will unironically be like: "We have moral standards 😌💅." Yeah, so does literally everyone else you stupid twats, you're not special.

[alyimoss]

youre so real for this take me with you i dont wanna BE HEREEE

well good knowing yall

[skrunksthatwunk]

kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.

and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.

and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?

hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.

it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh

[batboopp]

brutalia Come Home